Cabo San Pukas

May 10 2012 Published by under [Education&Careers], [Et Al]

It's time that shed some little on a secret that parents have held dear for quite some time. Hopefully my fellow parents won't turn on me for leaking this little bit of parenting bliss, but I'm willing to risk it.

Have you ever had a colleague who has kids? Have then often thrown around suspicious excuses for leaving early, like "my kid is sick." or "daycare has asked me to pick up my listless, vomiting child."? Yeah, right (wink, wink). Of course I don't get these questions because I can show passing interest in my child and be Daddy of the Year, but these ladies are always coming up with excuses to cut out early. Sounds sketchy, no? At least @KanneDo's coworkers are on to this ruse:

Oooo, busted. I feel like I should share with everyone what parents really do when we use such thinly veiled excuses to play hooky. We vacation at a beautiful get away called Cabo San Pukas. The beauty of this unique destination is that you don't even have to leave your very own home. In fact, you can't.


Source

Even the best day at work doesn't compare to a vacation at Cabo San Pukas, where the vomit flows like wine and the party lasts alllllll night.

Other benefits include:

- A highly qualified staff of one, sometimes two.

- More wardrobe changes than a Lady Gaga concert.

- The added bonus of joining in the vomit party when the right bug hits.

- Watching cartoons!

- A chance to visit the doctor's office!

- Drugs!

Aaawwwwwwww yeeeaaaah! So next time your coworker looks like they haven't slept in days, still has vomit on their leg and tells you they need to go home early, give them a knowing wink. Cause' you know what's goin on - it's party time at Cabo San Pukas! Be jealous. They have an excuse you just can't take advantage of to live the high life.

17 responses so far

  • Busy says:

    >> He mentioned he wished he had kids to use them as an excuse.

    Spoken as a true narcissist. He has just been informed that your little one is sick and the only thought that crosses his mind is how he could benefit from a similar situation.

  • Hermitage says:

    Jesus, I would have come in the next day with my child and a bouncy chair and set up the kid up in that douchebag's office. And been like 'here you go, a whole week's worth of excuses!'

    I would, of course, be arrested for child abuse. But those initial moments of induced-terror would be worth it.

  • CK says:

    Can't believe you're telling everyone about our secret! 😉

    But seriously, hope that the affected kiddo(s) = much better, if this is happening now.

  • DJMH says:

    Other amenities Chez Pukas, you can put your arm to sleep for free, because it is guaranteed that the only time your whiny, fitful lil' puker will fall asleep is when they're on your arm and you daren't move it lest you dislodge another vomit episode.

  • Amy says:

    Love it! Even though I'm eating lunch... Luckily baby puke is 100% less gross than kid puke. On the other hand, kids do better at giving fair warning.

  • Amy says:

    Bwa-hah-hah! Hilarious, so true, and waiting in the wings for that person who wants a good excuse to go home early. Just biding its time until they have a rugrat of their own...

  • Dr. KanneDo says:

    The baby is doing much better now, thanks. Yesterday morning I did wear vomit a la this picture above. Nothing is more glam than the 5am splattering of vomit on your bare toes and then having the scrub it out of the cracks between the wood floor planks.

  • KateClancy says:

    How dare you let them know about Cabo San Pukas! A few months ago we were introduced to a nearby locale, Cabo San Poopas, where the diarrhea flows faster than you can change your kid's underwear, allll night long. A great place to hide away from colleagues and get work done, because that's how I use my kid!

  • Oh man... I had FORGOTTEN about that... there's so much vomit.

    But it's too late to go back on having a second kid. My life will be wet, sleep-deprived, and sticky.

    Also today at lunch I was reminded about the tag-team eating out at restaurants (while the parent not eating whisks away the fussy child so as not to disturb other patrons). I'd forgotten about that too. But hey, maybe in another 3-4 years I'll have forgotten again.

  • proflikesubstance says:

    Oh, we've heard so much about San Poopas - heard it's beautiful in the spring! No question it's so easy to get work done at these exotic locales, the childless just don't have that advantage.

    N&M, wet and stick is how we roll. At least we're getting more sleep.

  • proflikesubstance says:

    BTW, I think the most disturbing part of this post was that when my wife saw that picture she said "Oh, that kid had way too much dairy! Probably yogurt by the look." and my response was "I know, right?"

    Yes, we can ID kid gut contents. Send your ambiguous samples our way.

  • Scicurious says:

    ...how does one single child HAVE that much in his stomach!?!? HOW?!?!?!

    Do child-bellies have some sort of hole in the space-time continuum?

  • proflikesubstance says:

    What happens is that they eat something and it multiples 100 fold in there. It must also be under pressure so when it is released it expands beyond that volume of the stomach and at great speed and distance.

  • Geez, dude, some of us are phobic, you know. I almost threw up myself when I saw that. Please keep any future vomit photos off the front page so people don't see them when clicking through to read about lab productivity.

  • Sxydocma1 says:

    @Scicurious It is unfreakening real how much vomit a child can contain. PLS's theory deserves scientific study.

  • [...] was full of dire warnings of what we’re in for in the future.  Proflikesubstance reminded me of this (scroll to the picture… that’s all you need to see).  Grasping for objectivity with [...]

  • gerty-z says:

    I miss the days when mini-G was small and I could use her as an excuse to go home and play in vomit. those were good times.

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