Repost: Parents in the workplace

Dec 19 2011 Published by under [Et Al]

It turns out the Weer One is not a great sleeper. Unlike her older sister, she has little interest in sleeping through the night from n early age. On Friday night, for example, she woke up every hour. Last night it was 1:00, 3:00 4:15 and 5:30. This morning I dropped the kids off at daycare and they had no heat, which needs to be fixed by 10:00 in order for the to stay open. Basically, this whole second kid thing is dominating us and we wander about like zombies. In honor of that and because I'm too tired to write something new, here is a repost from May 4, 2009.

If you are new to a workplace and interested in the lives of the people you work with, here a few tips to figure out who has young kids at home.
- We're the ones who come to work with smushed food or snot on our clothes without realizing it. Kids have an amazing ability to transfer these items to the one place you can't see on yourself, but everyone else can.
- We're the ones who come in on Monday looking more disheveled than Friday. Some weekends are far more tiring than weekdays.
- We're the ones who look like we were at a late night party or concert on a weeknight by the way we look some mornings. We weren't. More likely we were up much of the night because our kid is sick or just decided they would rather scream than sleep.
- We're the ones who have a cold 5x more than everyone else. Daycare is ground zero for every outbreak of every virus.
- We're the ones that are nodding off at 8:30 during dinner parties or evening departmental functions. When you are up at 5:30 am every day....
- We're the ones who will trap you in monologue conversation for 30 minutes if you ask us how are kids are. Want to see the pixelated pictures of my kid on my phone?
- We're also the ones with a constant source of amazement and amusement at home, no batteries required.

16 responses so far

  • Mok says:

    Yes, but you can get the last without all the rest by getting greyhounds instead. Plus, they not only sleep through the night, they sleep through the day too.

  • drugmonkey says:

    Why is it, without fail, that whenever you say anything about how amazing children are, some dog bothering nimwit chimes in about their amazing pet? Here's a protip- no, your dog is not even remotely in the same league of amazing, clever, loving or cute as a child.

  • [...] is it that, without fail, whenever you say anything about how amazing children are, some dog bothering nimwit chimes in about their amazing [...]

  • For realz DM, I've got a dog and he is fun as hell but kids are in a completely different stratosphere in comparison.

  • I read somewhere that kids in daycare/school get 30 colds a year. Most of them in the winter. Up here, winter is six months long, so... yeah.

  • proflikesubstance says:

    What about cats?

    Cats are assholes. At least mine is.

  • drugmonkey says:

    Cats are clawier.

  • JaneB says:

    Children happen to not be an option for me - cats fit with work - and mine isn't claw-y.

    I am tired though of hearing how great everyone's kids are, because I never CHOSE not to have them, it just happened, and being told how much better life is with kids is not helpful nor does it make me feel more collegial, oddly enough...

  • DrugMonkey says:


    As someone who would have been happily (and likely snootily superiorly) childless in another path not taken, I agree that telling the childless that their lives would be better with kids is offensive. Hurtful, even if unintentionally, in many cases.

    Nevertheless I find the context doesn't matter. In fact dog botherers who have adult children of their own are probably the worst at this nonsensical, reflexive and obsessive need to relate any child-based observations to the furry little vicious creature they keep as a "pet".

  • AnyEdge says:

    Children and dogs are both uninteresting. Let me tell you about my parrot....

  • Is this the wrong moment to bring up my new 29er?

    Re. colds - Mr owl (who is in fact recently Dr owl) just did a month of pediatrics. In November. It sort of brought home to how somehow we, as a society, decided to take the broadest possible group of reduced-immune-function individuals, who also happen to be somewhat disinhibited about sharing bodily fluids and hand washing, and put them all in a room together every day, before returning them to their (sometimes quite distant) households every evening.

  • 26" is closest to godliness says:

    Always the wrong time, heretic shortear

  • You're Pfizered says:

    As a dog person and the parent of a 4 and 3 year old, I get both sides of that discussion. No dog I've owned has changed my outlook like my boys have, but my dog never expected me to watch Blues Clues or Thomas the Train over and over either...

    Having two 95lb dogs before having kids taught me some valuable lessons about being a good parent, namely that you can tell a lot about the health of your dog (and child) by the consistency of their poop.

    It also taught me that if I can clean up an enormous pool of dog diarrhea off of a tile floor at 3am that nothing that comes out of my kids will ever bother me.

    It was great training for what comes with kids.

  • Ink says:

    YES to all of those observations. I feel for you--that is a tough zone.

    And this one still strikes a chord: "We're the ones who come in on Monday looking more disheveled than Friday." I am ALWAYS more tired on Monday than I am on Friday. Which is rough.

    Hope you get a bit more sleep...and remember, those nightly wakeup calls DO end. Promise.

  • proflikesubstance says:

    I know, I just hope they end sooner than later.

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