Graphic.... Wednesdays: The 7 stages of grading

Mar 08 2011 Published by under [Education&Careers], [Et Al]

EDIT: Apparently it's Tuesday.

I'm not convinced I'm going to make it until Friday, so this is early.

1) Immobilization: "I can't believe how many tests I have to grade. Why did I do essays? Am I a masochist? I can't wait a few days before dealing with those."

2) Denial: "Do I have a thick accent or speak in another language during class? The students don't seem to have understood anything I have said. Am I in the right country? Where am I?"

3) Anger: "Why are my students trying to kill me? We went over this concept for 20 minutes, had a lab on it, and 40% of the class gets the answer right?"

4) Bargaining: "Maybe if I grade a few, then reward myself with something, it won't be so bad. Three exams, then ice cream. Mmmm, ice cream."

5) Depression: "Why am I even doing this? Am I horrible teacher? Do they tune me out? And why did I eat so much ice cream?"

6) Testing: "Maybe if I curve juuuuust slightly, I'll avoid a riot."

7) Acceptance: "Whatever, it's one test. Where's the scotch?"

14 responses so far

  • BugDoc says:

    OMG, were you watching last time I graded papers? I think I ate 3 pints of Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia. And then I had to curve. And then the person who got a B- (when they really deserved a D), came and got all up in my grill and I had to smack them down. Then there was scotch.

  • Jen says:

    Preaching to the choir....

  • gerty-z says:

    hahahaha *sob*

  • grrlscientist says:

    omg, i remember those days too well. except my students would riot and THEN get me fired for expecting them to actually, you know, learn something.

  • Dr. O says:

    Maybe if I grade a few, then reward myself with something, it won’t be so bad. Three exams, then ice cream. Mmmm, ice cream.

    Now I understand why teaching correlates with my jeans getting tighter.

  • Sarah says:

    Ice cream is nice, but Girl Scout cookies work in a pinch as well. I know they're seasonal, so I stock up, put them in the freezer, and sometimes add them to my ice cream. The scotch sounds good, but I'm not a scotch person. My husband is traditionally the one drinking the scotch while I grade.

  • proflikesubstance says:

    OMG, were you watching last time I graded papers?

    I see aaaalllll.

    My husband is traditionally the one drinking the scotch while I grade.

    Sympathy drinking. I like it. Just like I'm gaining sympathy weight while my wife incubates a parasite for 9 months.

  • Jan Eagle says:

    Yessss. 30 years as a high school English teacher speaking! You nailed it.
    Tricks to get through the 25-hour stack of 500-word essays for 180 seniors:
    1. Get up and grade papers at 4am, so the crush of the upcoming day keeps my feet to the fire.
    2. Turn on a 3-minute timer--that's all I can spare each paper, and my focus wanders less.
    3. Order in pizza at 2 am while finishing term papers!

  • Odyssey says:

    You do realize it's only Tuesday, right?

  • proflikesubstance says:

    Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

  • Dr Becca says:

    My strategy is going to be this: when I find a really good paper/exam, give the ice cream to that student in exchange for grading the rest. Students love free food!

  • OgreMkV says:

    Mine was when I experimented by giving two classes the entire test two days beforehand. We went over the questions and the answers... in order. All they had to do was memorize.

    Tell me why less than 40% passed... please.

    Then there was getting called racist because they failed.

  • sciwo says:

    This post reminds me why I am so thankful to be on sabbatical. Though paper writing also requires a handy ice cream supply.

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