"Daddy, I don't like your beard. It's sharp and hurts my lips. But it keeps you warm?"
"Can we listen to that Eminem song? The one with the little girl*."
"Daddy, I like your freckle, where did you get it?"
"Mommy, don't give that look. I'll look right back at you."
"Daddy, you're funny. I laughed and you make me throwed up."
"I'm thinking of having a little tea party for my birthday, why do you think of that?"
"I think (old cat) doesn't like (new cat). I think maybe he wanted a puppy"
*Apparently in reference to Rhianna. At least this is what my wife tells me.