Job vacancy: Journal Club Killa

Oct 01 2010 Published by under [Education&Careers], Etc

Having filled our previously advertised job in Seminar Napping, Employment University has a new position available immediately, entitled, Journal Club Killa.

Requirements:

Applicants must religiously attend journal clubs on topics they know little about, but purport to do research in. They must be able to ask a bevy of questions that derail the discussion into obscure topics of self-interest and be persistent enough to smother constructive conversation. The successful applicant will also never print out the paper being discussed and repeatedly spout random inquiries that make plain the fact that they never read the paper to begin with.

Preferred Skillz:

Candidates who prefer to talk at length about the way research was done 20 years ago are strongly encouraged to apply, particularly if they try to pass it off as though they are doing "cutting edge" work. Using the same arguments week after week, regardless of the paper of choice will also be reviewed favorably.

Compensation:

The job pays only in self-satisfaction and ill-tempered glares from presenting students, but if you are interested in this position, this seems to be all the compensation you ever seek.

Applicants should send three letters of reference attesting to their ability to read from the paper of the student next to them and inability to use anything but their outside voice when asking said student questions while others are talking. If possible, letter writers will be asked to comment on the candidate's refusal to back down from any position on how new data are wrong, despite overwhelming contrary evidence.

Please forward application packets to:PLS, Department of Science, Employment University

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