Slaves to a walnut-sized sack

Jul 23 2010 Published by under Etc, LifeTrajectories

The difference between having a kid in diapers and one not in diapers is pretty big. Diapers are a pain in the ass (sometimes literally) and generate a lot of garbage, but there is also a certain amount of freedom that accompanies wrapping your kid in an absorbent layer. Often they will let you know when that layer is pushing its capacity, but the urgency in dealing with the situation is usually not ridiculous.

Once potty trained, everything changes. I should say that I couldn't be happier to be free of diapers and the associated paraphernalia that comes with having to extricate one's offspring from a saturated layer of human waste. However, now the dreaded cry of "PEE PEE!!!!" (or worse) has taken on a new threat level. In the car, this means find the nearest bathroom, even if you would previously never have considered using that particular facility. I have spent more time in public restrooms in the last few months than the previous two years, and I can tell you that not all are created equal. Generally the Wee One is pretty good about holding it together, but that doesn't mean that I'm not taking a mental inventory of every available bathroom in my vicinity at all times, in case.

The same principal is true for bedtime as well. Too much liquid before bed and we end up with the situation we had this morning at 5:00am. Imagine not waking up to an alarm with familiar music, but instead to the crackly screams of "PEE PEE COMING!!!" through the monitor a room away. Never prior have I needed the ability to transition from REM sleep to a full sprint in a second's time quite like the past few months.

I'm sure this will improve soon, but for the moment it's hard not to feel like a hostage to another person's bladder.

16 responses so far

  • Alyssa says:

    "...but that doesn't mean that I'm not taking a mental inventory of every available bathroom in my vicinity at all times..."You know, I think there's an app for that!Good luck getting through this next phase. I'll have to ask for your advice in a couple years or so!

  • tideliar says:

    LMFAO you poor bastard!

  • Nat Blair says:

    I can now mentally catalog all the grocery stores, home depots, and restaurants on our drive home (preference generally in that order as well).It should get a bit better, but even for our 4 1/2 year old, the night time pee pee still is a pain.Mostly because he wakes up, and knows something's off, but can't always say what it is. So it took my wife and I a bit to realize that if he's awake, likely it's because he has to pee, but it's no use asking him if that's the case, cause he won't answer. Just take him to the bath room and point and shoot (another issue with potty training - poor aim). At least he does go right back to sleep after going.We're still potential bladder hostages during the day though. And we did have one accident in the car (on the way to a house showing). Needless to say that was a bit traumatic.The baby in diapers doesn't bother me one bit, at least now that the "poop out the diaper and up the back" phase is over.

  • Patchi says:

    I hear ya! I just sleep walk my 4 yo to the potty in the middle of the night. Accidents happen, but that's what those dri-nights mattress pads are for.The only accidents that really bother are the ones in the car seat... at the airport... going on vacation... but those memories are indeed priceless 😉

  • Prof-like Substance says:

    At least the Wee One doesn't wake up in the middle of the night, but 5:00am is close enough. Sine she is still in a crib, going to the bathroom herself isn't really an option, however.Nat, good to see you're alive!

  • Anonymous says:

    Good to know what is coming. My toddler just started potty training. My brother and I used to pee in a coffee can in the car but a bit harder to manage for girl wee ones.

  • Cherish says:

    My favorite experience was driving on the highway when it was -5F, 25 mph winds, and the nearest town was 20 mi. away. My son thought it was really cool to pull off the highway and pee until that day. You should've seen his face.Both my boys were deep night sleepers, so we just had to live with night-time pull-ups until their bladders grew large enough.

  • Gerty-Z says:

    right there with you! happy the diapers are gone, really looking forward to moving past this phase.

  • DrugMonkey says:

    well now you are just ready for getting old and losing prostate function...

  • The Steel Magnolia says:

    We're on vacation now--you just described the last couple of days for us!

  • Anonymous says:

    Havn't you already been a slave to somebody else's bladder through pregnancy?-antipodean

  • Ianqui says:

    I'm a new commenter...But I had to laugh heartily at this, because we're getting mentally prepared to potty train our 25 month old. Since "coming" is one of the words he uses very productively ("train coming!" "bagel coming!"), I can totally see him screaming "pee pee coming!" at 5am.

  • Bob Calder says:

    Well do I recall holding my child over what amounted to a filthy hole in the earth, simultaneously trying to stay clear and hoping not to drop him into the abyss.

  • Ink says:

    Hey, congrats on the new digs, PLS!

    And LOL re: the dreaded nighttime pee call.

    (Actually glad I can still laugh about that, given that a good amount of time yesterday was spent using Oxyclean on an "accident" in Youngest's new "big boy" bed. In other words: I get it.)

  • proflikesubstance says:

    The night time call is the worst but the car freak out isn't far behind. We've been pretty lucky so far and not had major accidents in either place. Fingers crossed.

  • Katherine says:

    When we were very small my parents kept a potty in the car. Some of you don't do this???

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