Actual Conversation

Mar 26 2009 Published by under Uncategorized

Dazed & Confused Student - "Um, excuse me... Do you know if Dr. X is around?"

PLS - "Have you checked her office?"

DCS - "Um, yeah. It's dark. Do you know where she is?"

PLS - "No, I don't typically stalk my colleagues."

DCS - "What?"

PLS - "Nevermind. I don't know where she is."

DCS - "Do you know if she will be in this after lunch?"

PLS - *suppressing building rage* "I don't know her schedule."

DCS - "I have a question about the test this afternoon in her class."

PLS - *blank stare*

DCS - "uh, do you know genetics?"

PLS - *brain combing through a battery of possible responses, including:
"Sorry, never met him."
"I'm just the IT guy setting this computer up."
"Can you hold on, I'm just about to win this Ebay auction for the ball gag my boyfriend wants."
"Oh, I think I had that once. The itch wasn't as bad as the open sores"
"Could you close my door?"
"I think the real question here is why you would wear a full sweat suit outside of either your house or the gym."*
Actual response: "I think Dr. X would be the best person to answer your question since she is writing the exam. I would try politely emailing her."

Some days I wonder how soon I will lose my brain-to-mouth filter and get myself fired....

7 responses so far

  • Eugenie says:

    Nice. I made the mistake once asking a professor if I could borrow a pair of scissors. He asked me if I was the type of person who uses people for my own benefit.

  • Prof-like Substance says:

    It's not that I'm against helping students. I'm not. The problem is the attitude that a prof's only function is to hold every student's hand, whenever they need it. In particular, when they are doing something at the last minute.

  • chall says:

    The ebay answer made me gag since I had to stop from laughing too loud :)I just wondered what the student would have said....

  • Dr. No says:

    Is it bad that I was hoping you said yes, and then filled their head with the most horrendously wrong information possible? (yeah, that's bad...when is this semester over?)

  • Professor Anonymous says:

    DCS: "Do you know anything about genetics?" PA: "No, do you?"

  • Comrade PhysioProf says:

    I really don't understand why people are so afraid to simply say to other people, "I'm sorry, but I can't talk to you right now", and just end pointless discussion. Unless someone has made an appointment to see me, or is my chair or dean, they have no right to my time on an ad hoc basis, and giving them my time is completely within my own discretion.

  • Toaster Sunshine says:

    We keep getting robo-calls from a credit card debt relief corporation. The other day I clicked through to get a real person on the line:Them: "Hello, thanks for holding! Would you like to consolidate your credit card debt with us today?"Me, in Finnish accent: "Yes! I need a loan so that I may buy a freezer large enough to store multiple corpses!"They hung up.Not the same, I know, but still, there comes a point when people that keep annoying you lose the privilege of your civility, be they students or corporations (come to think of it, not much difference in behavior there!)And I are honöred to be än yours blüggin's räüll!

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