Dazed & Confused Student - "Um, excuse me... Do you know if Dr. X is around?"
PLS - "Have you checked her office?"
DCS - "Um, yeah. It's dark. Do you know where she is?"
PLS - "No, I don't typically stalk my colleagues."
DCS - "What?"
PLS - "Nevermind. I don't know where she is."
DCS - "Do you know if she will be in this after lunch?"
PLS - *suppressing building rage* "I don't know her schedule."
DCS - "I have a question about the test this afternoon in her class."
PLS - *blank stare*
DCS - "uh, do you know genetics?"
PLS - *brain combing through a battery of possible responses, including:
"Sorry, never met him."
"I'm just the IT guy setting this computer up."
"Can you hold on, I'm just about to win this Ebay auction for the ball gag my boyfriend wants."
"Oh, I think I had that once. The itch wasn't as bad as the open sores"
"Could you close my door?"
"I think the real question here is why you would wear a full sweat suit outside of either your house or the gym."*
Actual response: "I think Dr. X would be the best person to answer your question since she is writing the exam. I would try politely emailing her."
Some days I wonder how soon I will lose my brain-to-mouth filter and get myself fired....